To the person who deserves more than just a, “happy birthday” (you know who you are),
You deserve much more then just a, “happy birthday.” Although, it’s said that words are just words and actions speak louder than words…I’d like to say that to me those things are true but sometimes words express things actions can’t. It’s my hope through my writing that I can convey my inner most thoughts, and express myself in a way I can’t through actions. I’d like to do that now.
When I walked into my new journey at 20 years old, over two years ago now, I never pictured I would meet somebody like you. I remember my first year in, I was so set on what I had to do that I almost missed you. I spent months denying my feelings for you and let you keep pursuing me, even though all along, I was captivated by fear of trying. I remember the day I had my breaking point, I was driving around the base feeling so much anxiety and stress over not giving you a chance. I tried to convince myself that what I was doing was for the best but in the end, I wasn’t at peace with my decision. Its funny isn’t it, how others think they know whats best? The one who knows whats best has always been God. Once I feel at peace with something, I know its from the Heavenly Father. I’m so glad I listened to Him.
So today as I write this, I’m not sure what the future holds as I still have about 15 months left here. I’m not sure what your life holds or what mine holds. I’m not sure if you’ll meet another woman, someone who is Italian and loves you better. Regardless, no-one will ever love you like I do. And no-one will ever love me like you do. It’s just as F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.” And knowing that is so beautiful because I’ve always believed love is never a mistake. On your birthday, you deserve more than just a simple happy birthday wish.
You’ve helped me out so much this past year. Remember what your grandmother said? “When you’re in a relationship, they become your helper.” What do I mean by helping? Well, ranging from doing our laundry together, to going shopping together, to taking care of a finance bill for me because I was not in the state it needed to be paid in/ vice versa. In my opinion, I don’t think letting you do these things have made me suddenly not independent. Since when is it a problem to help someone out in the small ways? Honestly, It makes me angry that some people like to claim I’m not independent just because I let you help me with small things. I’ll always appreciate your help even when I don’t need it, it’s nice knowing someone cares. So because of your generous heart and helping hands, I believe… On your birthday, you deserve more than just a happy birthday wish.
Thank you for being there for me this past year, thank you for helping me out in the small ways/big ways because it’s appreciated, thank you for loving me and for seeing parts of me that others would have probably walked away from by now. Because of who you are and how you love me… On your birthday, you deserve more than just a happy birthday wish.
This is my letter to you on your birthday and also a letter that I can go back and read someday regardless of how things go with us.. so I can remind myself of the good and grow from it. As I stated earlier, I never, ever think it’s a mistake to love someone, or to invest in someone. No matter how a relationship goes… love is the greatest thing you can give/leave with someone. I hope, I leave you with more love in your heart, towards yourself, me and others. I hope I can leave this earth with more love then hate. That’s why I love you so much… because I see how you love. You love others by being kind and generous to them. You’re a light and I pray you’ll always be one. Don’t let college or anything steer you off course. So… on your birthday, you deserve more than just a happy birthday wish. You deserve to know just how much you mean to me and just how special of a person you really are. I hope I conveyed that in this letter. Know that I’ll always love you and I’ll spend the next year praying that they are all wrong and that God aligns the stars. If not, remember, its never a mistake to love someone or to invest in someone.
Your forever love,