Growth

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 11 days into the new year. 9 days of being back from vacation. 7 days of work and back to the same routine. 4 days of doing yoga consecutively. 0 days of truly connecting with God. Time just keeps on going by and as the days go by, I always think about how one day I’ll stand before Jesus. 9 times out of 10 I say I’m not ready to stand before Him and right now as I type this that answer is the same. Things have to change. Maybe I won’t ever be ready to stand before Him but I don’t want to continue to live with fear that when I stand before Him, I won’t be enough. So lets talk about something tonight, g r o w t h.
 I read a sweet Instagram post about it the other day but what I didn’t hear was something like this. Growth is a process. It’s painful yet freeing. It’s pretty yet ugly, it’s the good and the bad, all mixed in one. The last two years, God has placed me in the perfect place to g r o w. He’s shielded me from comparison by allowing me to be the only female around. He’s allowed me to have confidence in who I am by helping me through some challenging times. He’s allowed me to be loved. However, in spite of all that Gods done, I often find myself slapping God in the face without even realizing it until it’s gone too far. For instance, lately I find myself with a lot of unknowns and what ifs. And of course, those unknowns and what ifs, scare me to the point where I wonder in my last year here if I missed out on true growth by consuming myself so much with love (relationships) that I forgot about the true love always available to me, Him, God.
 I’m finding out that I can’t grow to be the person I want to be/ who God created me to be… without Him, without God alone.  I don’t think it’s enough anymore to go to church Sunday, write on my Instagram page and read my bible… it has to be more. I have to put Him back in that number one spot that i always seem to give up so easily when “love” comes around. So here I am. Here. Looking back on the last two years and wondering where they went. Knowing I only have one year left to g r o w in this place God has me. Knowing that its time to get serious about my faith and rediscover myself.
-With love and kindness,
 
L.A.

Published by

freelovedandworthy- Laura Aleena

Writing to encourage others of the hope that rests in Jesus Christ. We are free, loved and worthy because of HIM. Some things I enjoy: being at the ocean and listening to the peaceful sounds of the waves, getting lost in nature and exploring Gods beautiful creation, writing and sharing my thoughts with others in the hopes of making a positive difference in their lives. I enjoy this life and I hope you'll join me in this journey! 1 Timothy 4:12, "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."

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