There’s this quote that goes something like, “I have 99 problems and only 1 exists, the other 98 I create in my mind.“ Honestly, that’s been me way too many times!
Lately I’ve been thinking thoughts like, I hope I become the woman God createdme to be. And then the doubt follows. What if I don’t become who God created me to be? What if I am just going though the motions but my character and who I am is still the same? Well yesterday I was walking and these thoughts crept into my mind. In that same moment, my attention was drawn away from my thoughts as I seen this huge whitetail deer followed by more. The next thing I know I’m only focused on the present moment and what’s in front of me. I’m focused on the reality…not what is or isn’t or could be. I’m focused on what is and that’s pretty powerful if you ask me. Today I had the same thoughts creep in and the next thing you know I’m waking up feeling surprised that I fell asleep because I was talking to God.
Well that’s what sparked this blog post.
I spend a lot of time in my head. In my head thinking about my life, about me, about my future love, about my goals, about my dreams…Gosh ALL these thoughts!!! Yet when do I stop and listen to God’s voice? God interrupted my thoughts TWICE in the few days, pulling me back into reality. Yet isn’t it my job to focus on the present? He chose to wake me up today. Why can’t I simply chose to be grateful and focus on today? Why can’t I go through life not letting others get to me but living for God? Only God’s judgement matter. I shouldn’t judge myself or give a damn what others think of me.
I don’t know if I’m going to become who God created me to be. I don’t know what tomorrow holds. What I do know is I’m exhausted, I’m tired of having thoughts like, I hope I become the woman God created me to be. What if I don’t become who God created me to be? What if I am just going though the motions but my character and who I am is still the same? Ugh, no!!!!!! Who cares? I should know by now that God knows what He is doing. Just like I create those “problems” in my mind and only one exists, God is at work in many areas of my life yet I’m probably only aware of one.
Is that a problem or a blessing? It’s a blessing because I don’t need to know what the future hold or what person I’m going to be or not be. The only thing that matters is who I am today. If every day I do the things that help me become the person I want to be then I’m on the right track. If every day I wake up thankful, if every day I’m grateful, if every day I’m focused on the present… Then the future will be brighter then I ever could imagine!!! It’s time to wake up and to stop having those thoughts!!!!
It takes time to become the person God created you to be. It takes time to become who you want to be. Trust the process- love who you are today and keep working on yourself to become a better you for tomorrow.